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From A Tiger Attack To Droopy Pants: A Common Thread

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The Tampa Tribune

Published: January 30, 2008

They seem like three disparate incidents:

•The individuals who were attacked by a tiger in the San Francisco Zoo.

•The Riverview residents who were chased from their homes by a toxic cloud.

•The Florida politician who is determined to deal legislatively with those who let their pants hang too low in schools.

Then you look closer.

Sure, the zoo's wall, it turns out, was lower than recommended. But a contributing factor was the taunting of the animal that occurred. The three young men involved, one of whom was killed, had marijuana in their systems and one had a blood-alcohol level twice the legal limit.

As for the ammonia leak, residents from more than 300 homes had to evacuate as a result of a vandal drilling into the above-ground portion of pipeline. Stronger security measures were subsequently suggested by the Hillsborough County Emergency Operations Center, and Tampa Pipeline Corp. says most of the suggestions have been implemented. The county also lauded emergency agencies for their quick response.

State Democratic Sen. Gary Siplin of Orlando has succeeded in pushing a bill to outlaw "sagging" drawers - sometimes called "jailing" - in school. It should reach the Senate floor in March. Siplin thinks it's not hitting below the legislative belt to mandate that students pull up their pants in a public venue.

The common thread is behavior, whether around animals at a zoo, an exposed stretch of chemical pipeline or around students' hips.

An ancillary point is that authority plays catch-up in such instances. That's because you can't fix stupid.

Parade Rain

It was the right decision to halt the children's Gasparilla parade. Lightning, aluminum stands and crowded floats could have been the perfect storm of tragedy.

It was sad for thousands of disappointed children and their families. It was especially sad because the children's parade is no longer just a cute spinoff, a wholesome sop to the sober. It's also big - entailing more than 100 krewes and 150 floats - and includes shuttle routes, a bicycle safety rodeo, a preschoolers stroll, two air invasions and a fireworks show.

It also was sad because the children's parade is the real celebration. The one that doesn't require a Safe House. The one that doesn't feature portable toilets. The one that doesn't consecrate litter.

It's the one that is about kids WITH their parents, not intoxicated, rite-of-passage teens on the lam from parental oversight. What a concept.

Sober Judgment

Let's hear it for Hillsborough Circuit Judge Daniel Perry, who recently put the inconsequential but highly publicized case of former "American Idol" contestant Jessica Sierra into proper context. Finally.

"You're not a celebrity; you're a drug addict," Perry said.

Good for him. Hopefully, good for her.

Enough of the obsessive, enabling celebrity addiction that passes for popular culture.

PaperGate?

Much has been written about the embarrassing episode at the University of South Florida involving Bulls senior linebacker Ben Moffitt. USF marketed him as "Linebacker. Leader. Husband. Father." According to his estranged wife, USF could have included "sham student." Shauna Moffitt says she wrote "every single paper he has ever written in five years at USF."

That remains a "She said, she repeated" matter. Student privacy laws preclude official comment or details, and that's understandable.

But wouldn't it be interesting to see what grades those papers received, especially if they were, indeed, written by someone who didn't attend any of the courses?

Joe O'Neill is a South Tampa writer who can be contacted at www.OpinionsToGoOnLine.com.

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