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Woman Forms Grief Support Group In Ruskin

Tribune photo by LOIS KINDLE

Lucille Malaney, 65, facilitates a nondenominational, Christian-based support group, which meets at St. Anne Catholic Church on Thursdays from 6:30 to 8 p.m. The group gathers in the parish hall at 106 11th Ave. N.E. in Ruskin.

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By LOIS KINDLE

The Tampa Tribune

Published: September 17, 2008

RUSKIN - The sudden death of her 60-year-old father in 1969 was Lucille Malaney's first personal experience with tragic loss. She was 27 and stationed at an Air Force base in California; her family home was in Vermont.

"His death was very heavy for me," she said. "My family was in shock, and there was no outside help available. We dealt with it individually, in our own ways."

In 1985, while Malaney was living in Africa as a lay missionary, her youngest sister, JoAnn, came to visit for a month, and returned home to Burlington. Four months later, she committed suicide.

Thousands of miles away, Malaney flew home for the funeral, and once again, the death was a devastating blow to a family struggling to cope with unexpected loss.

"My mother couldn't speak about my sister for 11 years after her death, without breaking down," Malaney said.

Other losses would follow.

In November 1995, Malaney's older brother, Peter, was diagnosed with cancer. By January, he was dead.

"This was the first time we had a warning, and the family was a little more supportive of each other," Malaney said. His "was the third death in the family, and we had some time to prepare ourselves emotionally."

In 1997, Malaney moved to Tampa from Washington, where she was living at the time Peter died. When her mother died in 2004, Malaney said the six remaining children had the opportunity to say goodbye over the phone.

"She was ill for several years so we had the opportunity to grieve before she left us," Malaney said.

"Her death led me to become a volunteer at LifePath Hospice, which then started me thinking about forming a grief-support group.

"Dealing with the deaths of my family members over the years helped me better understand others who are in similar situations," Malaney continued. "It taught me to be more compassionate and understanding of what people go through."

Malaney said she knew of an international program called GriefShare, which helps people through their grief over the death of someone they love. The nondenominational, Christian-based program includes a professionally produced video seminar; group discussion and support; and workbook-based personal study and reflection.

After learning more about GriefShare, Malaney approached her pastor, the Rev. John McEvoy, about starting a group at St. Anne Catholic Church as part of her lay ministry. After receiving his support, the program was implemented in November 2007, with Malaney as facilitator.

"It's now in its fourth, 13-week series," Malaney said. "The groups usually have five to 10 people."

GriefShare meets from 6:30 to 8 p.m. Thursdays in the parish hall at St. Anne, 106 11th Ave. N.E. in Ruskin. Another series begins in January, but members may join at any time, Malaney said.

"I'll be changing the day and time to reach out to others in the community," she said.

IF YOU GO

WHAT: GriefShare nondenominational, Christian-based support group

INCLUDES: Video seminar; group discussion and support; workbook-based personal study and reflection

FOR: People grieving over the death of a loved one

WHERE: Parish hall, St. Anne Catholic Church, 106 11th Ave. N.E., Ruskin

WHEN: Thursdays, 6:30-8 p.m.

FACILITATOR: Lucille Malaney

INFORMATION: Call (813) 645-1714 or visit www.saint anneruskin.org/bereavement .htm.

Reporter Lois Kindle can be reached at (813) 865-1553 or lkindle@tampatrib.com.

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